i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
