i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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