My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
