She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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