he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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