he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
