Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
