if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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