Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
