it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize