Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
