elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
