if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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