I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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