I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
