i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This girl is more easily done than said...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
