my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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