Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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