you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
