Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
