There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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