Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize