New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
