i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize