Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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