so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
