...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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