Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
