where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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