Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When did we convert life to cartoon?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
