Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
