I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize