I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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