meet me or not, i'm out of control
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
