I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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