Tell her she can't have a vagina
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
