He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
