OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's Friday. Sex?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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