Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
