You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
