dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Houston, we have a blender
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
