Got a toothbrush?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
