This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize