Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
