You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
