I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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