I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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