Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
