You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
