Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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