Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
