we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
