you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
