guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
