They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
