Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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