All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
