Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
