how can u be prego again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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