He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize