Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
