Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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