i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
