i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
