i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
