drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
