She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
