Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
time to smoke my breakfast
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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