what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
True strength comes from lack of pants
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
