I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
