He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
