Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
