Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
