I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
